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Friday, April 1

Metro-something, Anyway...

Alleluia! Alleluia!Capital MetroStoicism is a hard and narrow path to tread, and it leads to many unexpected turns and opportunities. This morning, as I walked between the glass giants of our business district, the Sun crowning them with tiaras of light, a odd little man spoke to me.
-"You are Mathieu, of Ban Sidhe?", he asked. -"Ye-ess?", I stammered, aghast that the first fan to recognize me should turn out to be such an ugly little runt. -"Of MetroStoic fame?", he insisted, holding out a little card. I glanced at it, and, oddly, it held a hologram of a Glass Spider and my new domain name. -"I am.", I took the card, puzzled that it seemed to be mine. Inner Spacecity Improvement...-"I understand you are looking for a job?", he squinted up at me, and I looked away from his oddly deconstructed features. "We are the Metrostoic Institute for Defense, and we think we can offer you a ... prime position that would suit your unique talents." -"Keep talking.", I said, scanning our surroundings for the Old Man's operators, my erstwhile colleagues. -"We are based in Torino, Italy, and we need your assesment on our strategy in the on-going war with the Space Fiends." Die, dirty pinko crypto-commie Space Hippie!-"Space Fiends?", I goggled. -"Yes, they've beaten us back to Saturn, but we're finally holding the line. We need some new ideas, and we'd like you to consult for us.", he paused. "Should you like what you see during that mission, we're prepared to integrate you with the full rank of Colonel, and a share of the Institute." Take THAT, Space Fiend!-"I'll think about it...", I temporized. -"Don't think too long. Give us your answer on your blog, we monitor it." -"I'll do that." -"Don't call us, we'll call you.", he added, rather unecessarily, and blanked out of existence.
We want YOU for Space Patrol!As I walked to the Old Man's Operation offices to hand in my cancelled OM Operator cellphone, I found in my pocket a little disk, the MetroID Primer. I've only gone thru the first section so far, and I'm stuck on the second, but I think I'll enjoy this MetroID job. Colonel Mathieu... I like the sound of that...

7 Insights :

Blogger O.2 intuited...

colonel mathieu? Bullshit!
You're cutting the red tape, typing up reports, and making all things pretty for the the ones surfing the electronic wave.
You forget: "charlie don't surf!" And, when it comes down to gettin down and dirty, frying some lizard mutant ass... you're practically D.O.R! level two MY ASS!
And No! I'm not saying that because I was lying there, at your feet, my powersuit on the brink of implosion... I just can't help but think... Where in the world is Colonel Hackworth!

4/01/2005 03:44:00 PM  
Blogger O.2 intuited...

Excellent post by the way!
"Post modern mussolinites tackle space mutants on the rings of saturn!"

4/01/2005 03:45:00 PM  
Blogger Mathieu intuited...

Pah, you mustangs think that just cause you came up thru the ranks you're the only ones know how to fight.

Just watch me restrategize your sorry ass, and then how easy the Space Fiends are to blow off the rings!

4/01/2005 03:55:00 PM  
Blogger schuey intuited...

Guys,

I think I will speak for a certain of people here : What are you doing here ? I mean do the disciple of the metro gave to know all that !! ?

I'm worried.

4/01/2005 08:31:00 PM  
Anonymous JP intuited...

Your dear parents worry also more and more on your mental health !

Are you simply an "April 1st" victim, or are you eating chinese mushrooms to speak with unvisible old man in the street ???

Come back here : we have potatoe and carrot soup ready for you to go to bed at 8PM sharp !

4/02/2005 09:54:00 AM  
Blogger Mathieu intuited...

I'm touched by your concern, people, really I am.

Yet duty calls, and MetroStoicism wasn't invented to turn us into couch potatoes (or carrots) or politically correct peaceniks!

The Space Fiends are howling at the gates of the inner solar system, and it is each MetroStoic's responsibility to stand up and be counted.

I'm just more fortunate than most in that my contribution will be given in the ranks of the prestigious MID!

4/02/2005 11:14:00 AM  
Blogger Sammy intuited...

Mathieu, pardon if I say so, but you do need to lay off the video games for a while.

4/02/2005 07:10:00 PM  

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